THE SOLUTION
- Capitolo 1° -
Shisui was alone that day on the cliff where he always met with Itachi. Sitting on the edge of the precipice with his feet dangling towards the rushing waters of the Naka River, he let out a mournful sigh as he threw down a small stone. He didn't have the impression that it was simply subject to the force of gravity, but he perceived her forcefully sucked by that kind of natural dewatering pump that only he and Itachi knew about.
Itachi…
He had told him that he only approached him to process his best friend's death, however he had always realized how the whole story had actually served more to convince himself rather than to persuade Itachi to consider the attraction in his comparisons moved only by remorse towards the dead boy.
He hadn't actually killed him with his own hands, his friend of him, but it was as if he had done it. It had been the rivalry, the feeling of inferiority and jealousy, those ugly beasts! Shisui wanted to be the best, but not to brag about it in front of people, but to have the ability to improve this rotten and incorrect world. Had the wrong people continued to emerge, nothing would ever have changed. And so, his best friend died because he didn't help him improve. Were the Mangekyo Sharingan and Kotoamatsukami worth it? Not if he and Itachi couldn't stop the madness that would explode in moments.
He believed, perhaps erroneously, that a new bond could replace the previous one by placating pain and guilt.
Itachi, I'm not so sure anymore that I approached you just to try to forget my pain, and awkwardly clear my conscience.
Before deciding to talk to him, Shisui had observed Itachi for about a month during the solo training he did to achieve the goal he had set for himself: to become the strongest of all ninjas to finally eradicate the plague of war from the world. He also admired him for what he had, despite his young age he had been able to formulate such a goal by committing himself absolutely to achieve it. Admiration, not jealousy. He watched it whirl in his graceful and devastating dance. A beautiful and deadly angel. So adamantly determined. With his lui kunai, he could hit eight targets at once, one hidden behind a huge rock, and he was only eight years old at the time. By now everyone knew that he was a prodigy, however this time Shisui stepped forward without the fear of falling again into the traps his best friend had died from. The attraction he felt towards that perfection went far beyond, it even surpassed the need to appease the pain of the loss for which he felt responsible.
Shisui seemed to touch the sky with a finger when Itachi declared that he preferred training in his company rather than following the lessons in the Academy he found terribly boring.
Sure, you're a genius.
Despite already being so splendid and with fine and elegant manners, Itachi was still just a child at the time. Shisui just had to demonstrate the enchantment he felt towards him with small gestures, caresses on the head, short and encouraging hugs, he loved the time he had to massage Itachi's back after the water had gone sideways. Shisui smiled thinking how this was generated by Itachi's surprise after he lightly tugged at his ponytail. But the best day of him was when he finally had the opportunity to confess to Itachi what he felt for him. So to speak.
The minor had recently unlocked his Sharingan after seeing his teammate Tenma brutally murdered by a masked man, according to Itachi's detailed analysis it could very well have been Madara.
“I don't think so, Itachi, Madara was last seen about seventy years ago.”
But the minor had turned his sad eyes to the ground, a sign that he didn't want to repeat what he had already explained.
If you say so, it couldn't be otherwise, Itachi, it's highly unlikely that you can do anything wrong, you never fall for any emotional trick.
During a workout, Itachi who hadn't yet learned well to master the new acquired power, sprained his ankle. It was Shisui who medicated and bandaged it while he explained to him how her body still couldn't keep up with what her special eyes were seeing.
“You're making a lot of fuss about nothing, Shisui. I'm fine” Itachi replied almost annoyed and with his eyes fixed on the ground.
The major let out a tender smile stroking his silky hair gathered in a ponytail: "No matter how special you are, never overdo it."
And it really was special, Itachi. Shisui sometimes felt sorry seeing how his friend had not lived a carefree childhood like all other children. Traumatized by the corpse-strewn battlefield seen as a four-year-old, he had immediately developed ideas as an adult. Itachi never cried, never hesitated, never trembled, as if feeling emotions were a defeat for him. Though he never mentioned it, Shisui was certain that Tenma's dull eyes continued to haunt him at night. That evening, since Itachi couldn't walk, Shisui had carried him home loaded on his back. It was night and on the streets of their village there was no longer a living soul, just a few lighted windows. Shisui had never had such close and prolonged contact with him, Itachi was one who had always avoided physical closeness, not that he shunned it on purpose, certain things just didn't seem to interest him.
"I wish you were the younger brother I never had."
The words spoken by Shisui had sprung directly from that heat from which he felt invaded, it originated from the stomach, then rose and, passing through the heart, reached the point of reddening his cheeks. Itachi couldn't have the slightest idea what his body pressed against his back and the hug around his shoulders was causing him, probably just to keep from falling.
“I would like you to rely on me for everything.”
Shisui felt Itachi's muscles relax, the gentle smile and the tenderness in his voice probably hitting the nail on the head. Itachi had received little kindness from the others, it was clear that he wasn't used to it at all and that he didn't know where to put his hands. Shisui would have been the happiest boy on earth if Itachi had opened his heart to him. His biggest dream was this.
Well he certainly isn't as noble as yours, Itachi, however the preciousness of your heart I'd say it's worth it. If you gave it to me, I could only be honored.
“You will be exhausted, using the Sharingan tires you. Sleep if you want."
Shisui trembled feeling his friend abandon himself completely on him, his head resting on his right shoulder, his breath brushing his neck, he could even feel his heartbeat between his shoulders, so close to him. The embrace loosened a little and Shisui saw his friend's white hands hanging in front of his chest, his palms brushed against it, caressing it inadvertently. The big one felt so moved that he thought he was going to faint. But he couldn't confess more, the fire of passion that burned inside him would have to wait until Itachi was no longer a child.
Itachi was no longer a child, in two days he would have been fourteen. Another stone was sucked into the impetuousness of the Naka River. Itachi was never interested in birthdays, including his, absolutely nothing changed if the number with which his age was indicated was written in a different way every year.
After all, you're not entirely wrong, my little genius.
The only birthday Itachi paid little attention to was Sasuke's, but just because his little brother cared a lot and he wanted to make him happy.
Shisui stood up with a joyful smile spreading on his lips.
Itachi, I will never resent you if I decide to leverage Sasuke to celebrate your birthday. This is an important date, I will finally be able to tell you and show you what I think.
“So, shall we make a present for Nii – san?”
Shisui smiled at the boy jumping around him. Sasuke's big eyes sparkled with joy, as always, he was brimming with love for his brother. The grown-up was invaded by melancholy, Sasuke didn't know that soon he would have had to use Kotoamatsukami on his father, he would never have imagined that his beloved father was plotting a coup d'état. He didn't know that Itachi had given his full consent to Shisui to hit him with that move. He didn't understand that they were there now because Itachi wouldn't accept gifts and celebrations from anyone other than his little brother. It would have been too great a pain to know that his brother, so young, had already had to shoulder such a burden.
You will know how much we love you, but not right now. Enjoy your childhood for what's left of it.
Would that smile fade or would it continue to shine? There was no way of knowing yet, now.
“Be slow, Sasuke, don't get caught, we'll surprise him. You will choose the gift, okay?”
Shisui placed his hands on his shoulders seeing how the boy was now struggling to contain his enthusiasm. He smiled at him ruffling his hair.
Sasuke started to look around, he wanted to run and jump, but if Shisui had asked him to do everything calmly so as not to let anyone, in the world, Itachi, understand that he was going to surprise him, so he would. Because Itachi was his world. He stuck out the tip of his tongue until it touched his lips, as if he concentrated, then, grabbing Shisui's hand, led him to a clothing store.
The big one had told him that he should have chosen the gift for Nii – san. A big responsibility since he wanted to make him happy, but seriously! He examined everything meticulously.
This is too big.
It's not elegant enough.
This color does not suit him…
They left the shop empty handed, nothing Sasuke considered worthy of becoming his Nii – san's birthday present. Shisui felt a slight pang in his heart, Itachi had always considered birthdays so insignificant to the point of putting his brother in crisis when choosing a present for him. Perhaps he was not familiar with the major's tastes. Considering how meticulous Itachi was in his personal hygiene, Shisui directed the boy to a soap and bath salt shop.
A hole in the water again this time.
“Itachi has it all and better quality.” Sasuke pouted as he braced his hands on his hips, frowned as if to get an idea.
Much more was definitely needed for Itachi, he was a determined and brilliant warrior. To tell the truth, he seemed to have nothing in mind other than his own goals, to train, to get strong, and now to stop the madness even though dissuading them wouldn't be easy. Itachi had already been captain of the Task Force for a year, Shisui felt a painful jab thinking about how he had been forced to become an adult immediately and defrauded of his future, especially now put in that condition of double agent by his father and by the Village at the same time. But Itachi was only interested in keeping his strategic position.
Instead I? How much place do I have, dedicated to me, in your heart?
He took Sasuke, to an armory, after all that was Itachi. It was just like that. When you fall in love with someone you do it by looking at the totality of him, if Itachi had changed perhaps some aspect of him would have ended up missing him. However Shisui was consumed with doubt, how did Itachi feel for him?
Do you feel something? You see me? I know I'm your best friend, but does it end there for you?
“Shisui, papa and Nii – san have a much better arsenal than this at home!”
Sasuke's ringing and annoyed voice almost made him jump, Shisui's gaze met the obviously angry one of the gunsmith.
"Um... all right" the big one took the little one by the shoulders leading him back to the sunny street. A very embarrassed nod to the shopkeeper.
Sasuke lolled along, his hands in the pockets of his white shorts, his eyes downcast and his frown, occasionally kicking a few small stones. Shisui couldn't help but smile at his intense effort in choosing that gift, he was terribly annoyed that he hadn't found anything suitable for Itachi yet. The little one suddenly stopped surprising Shisui not a little, he stared at a small shop selling knick-knacks and costume jewellery, he seemed very interested.
"Sasuke, I don't think we'll find anything suitable in there." Shisui's voice was invaded by the smile he had on his lips.
"Come on, let's give it a try."
Sasuke had resumed hopping enraptured by enthusiasm, the other had only to capitulate. Inside, the little one was lost only the few seconds it took to get used to the dim light, then he went like a bolt to retrieve something from a display case. He came bounding back.
“What do you think, Shisui?” his smile was dazzling, his eyes full of light.
The big one looked down at the small object he had placed between his fingers, the cold of the metal had reached him before he saw what exactly it was. He had to make an effort not to give in to mirth, demonstrating it would hurt Sasuke. He had handed him a necklace made up of a simple rubber cord into which three simple, smooth silver circles were threaded, hardly worked at all. Nothing particularly flashy.
"You think Itachi might like this, don't you want to try to see something more elegant?"
But Sasuke shook his head vigorously in firm conviction.
Maybe he was right, this necklace looks a bit like your character.
“Why did you decline the offer to get a package done?”
Shisui knelt down to have him within sight: “I wish you could do it with your hands. Whoever gives a gift should put parts of himself into it. That's why it would be nice if you prepared something for Itachi that he likes, perhaps with help from your mother."
As to what Itachi liked, Sasuke didn't have the slightest doubt; heading to buy the two flours needed to make dango, he pulled at Shisui with such force that he nearly fell. Cheeks flushed with joy. Shisui would have done everything for him to never shut down, really everything.
"So see you tomorrow. Itachi must have the best birthday of his life."
Shisui greeted him after accompanying him to the front of the house, Sasuke didn't understand why, despite him smiling, his magnetic eyes were filled with melancholy.
Sasuke would have done anything to make Nii – san happy, even wearing that ridiculous kitchen apron and that headband that his mother had slipped on him so as not to let the tufts of hair fall into his eyes. He worked so diligently and concentrated that he looked like a great chef, his little hands ached from the effort of working that dough until it was soft, however he never complained. The mother put the perfectly packaged balls in the fridge, unfortunately Itachi always came back late from work, even that evening he would have to wait for him.
It's not fair, however, at least on his birthday they could have let him go free.
Sasuke sighed staring at the ceiling spread over his bed, that night he wondered, for the first time, why birthdays weren't holidays like, say, Sundays.
Shisui knew he would arrive before Itachi, on the other hand he was there, in that damned monitor room always until late. If it wasn't for Itachi he wouldn't have known of the dozens of cameras he now had aimed at him, yet he couldn't avoid them all the time or it would immediately arouse suspicion.
“Welcome, Shisui. But what miracle did you and Sasuke manage to perform? Convincing Itachi to celebrate his birthday!”
Fugaku had welcomed him at the door smiling. Shisui felt the lump rise thinking that in a few days he would have to pierce that same gaze with his deadly Kotoamatsukami. The father of the boy he loved and who was now welcoming him as one of the family. No one knew what was boiling in each other's pot. Itachi's family was not aware that the two boys were stalling to avoid the revolt. Shisui, in theory, shouldn't have known that Itachi was used as a spy by his own father, and Fugaku didn't imagine that he, in turn, was spied on as a son. But it was he himself who ordered Shisui to keep an eye on him.
I'm doing it for us, Itachi, for our future and for Sasuke's.
He forced a smile, his facial muscles felt like made of stone: "Itachi doesn't know anything, it's basically a surprise party."
“Ah, that's why you managed to win.” the man accompanied him to the living room, wrapping his shoulders around him.
“Nii – san won't be able to refuse a gift and sweets made by me.”
The only innocent and candid soul that was in that house, he didn't know that all the others were now irreparably stained. Sasuke eagerly devoured the biscuits that Mikoto had placed in front of him to make them kill time better, puffing out his cheeks filling his shirt with crumbs. Shisui greeted him by ruffling his hair. However the boy ceased to exist as soon as Sasuke heard the noise of the entrance door, he immediately jumped up to hug Itachi, two half-eaten biscuits fell awkwardly on the parquet.
“Happy birthday, Nii-san!”
Shisui saw them arrive holding hands, Itachi's eyes were soft even though he didn't expect that impromptu. Maybe he felt embarrassed, who could tell? Certainly a boundless love for his little brother.
Shisui shivered when Itachi sat next to him to stay there throughout the dinner, his lower belly flaring up every time the younger touched him by accident. Their hips were locked together, with every movement that increased the pressure of their bodies a little, Shisui's heart galloped.
You are a wonderful family, I don't know what it means to have one like this. I have to do this so that you continue to be united.
The dinner was delicious, for the occasion they tasted the best sashimi, Shisui smiled seeing Sasuke gorge on tomato onigiri.
“Nii – san, I made these for you.”
Sasuke had been waiting all evening, he came trotting in with a tray of dango. Itachi smiled. Shisui thought he was going to faint. A smile from Itachi could be more precious than gold and even much rarer. His face, already beautiful, resembled that of an angel. Shisui looked at him with reverence as he brought his beloved sweets to his slightly full lips, he remained in absolute silence to catch every slight noise he made while eating. He loved it when, slightly bowing his head, silky black locks fell on his eyes. Shisui admired those beautiful eyelashes that grew thicker and thicker. A slight tremor of his hand shook the dango stick, Shisui had to make a huge effort to keep from grabbing it.
“Thank you, Otouto, this was the best birthday of my life.”
Itachi hugged his little brother who had curled up in his lap, he hugged him gently to his chest closing his eyes. Only Shisui noticed how wet his eyelashes were.
"I'm sorry, Shisui, I've done everything I can to dissuade them but it's not going well."
Itachi had moved away from the table on the pretext of getting some air. Now he sat on the wooden porch kicking the door. Shisui stopped to look at him for a moment, unable to take his eyes off the pigtail that descended to the center of his back. He approached without making a sound until he sat next to him, he remained silent for a while enjoying all the sounds of the summer nights that he had always adored. The song of the scops owl, the peaceful chirping of crickets. The sky was so clear that he could see very well even in the dark.
"Then I'll have to do it." Shisui affirmed sighing and letting his eyes get lost among the stars.
Itachi let out a sigh as he rested his head on his shoulder. Shisui felt his heart stop, all the contrasts that the younger had inside began to be felt, it was clearly a small search for comfort, Shisui's hand wrapped around Itachi's thin waist.
“Nii-saaan!”
Sasuke came running almost slipping on the parquet.
He knelt next to his brother: "I gave you a present."
Itachi seemed to light up as he reached out to grab the small packet his brother handed him. Shisui was amazed at how carefully Sasuke had packed it. The paper was golden, stretched so perfectly that it seemed solid, the bow was also the same color, but made of silk.
Wow, the gift box is worth more.
Shisui smiled at the little boy giving him a wink that Itachi didn't see.
“Otouto, I… I don't know what to say, it's beautiful.”
Itachi turned the necklace between his fingers, the silver circles glittering under the moon.
“Then say nothing and put it on. In fact, I'll put it on you."
Sasuke leapt up behind him to tie it up. That closure never moved again.
"Thank you, Otouto, I love you."
Itachi's eyes glittered as he held him again to his chest.
“What do you and Shisui always talk about?”
Sasuke didn't understand why, at that question, his brother's heart suddenly accelerated.
"You are too small yet, Otouto." Itachi hit him with the customary slap in the middle of the forehead.
Seeing Sasuke pouting as usual, Shisui decided to come to his rescue: "Don't pay attention, you have a terrible brother, he would always want to keep you in the dark about everything. In this case I will tell you. We were discussing who is the stronger of the two. It would be me just Itachi doesn't want to admit it. But you got it all figured out, didn't you? You know I'm the strongest."
Sasuke jumped up with furrowed eyebrows, "That's not true, Itachi is the strongest, he could beat you with his eyes closed if he wanted to, right, Nii-san?"
Itachi's eyes drooped slightly hidden by the extraordinary eyelashes, only Shisui noticed how slightly pale he was.
Is it a thank you for me? Love? Or just embarrassment?
"Nii – san, tell him that you are the strongest!"
Family is a really good thing, I won't let clan plots ruin that. It doesn't matter what I'm forced to do.
For the first time in his life, Itachi found himself feeling a twinge of pain as he thought his birthday had passed. The first and perhaps the last he had ever celebrated and enjoyed so much. He was heading towards the cliff where he had an appointment with Shisui. The meeting he was also supposed to attend was still in progress, his father was still there so he was well early. His friend would have to wait for Fugaku at the exit to forever change his mind and the way he sees him. Despite this, he ran very fast taking the air on his face and in his hair; in doing so, he enjoyed the illusion that the hot, humid summer air was a little cool. Another night so beautiful it's repulsive. The stars looked like an expanse of diamonds while the Milky Way was lost to infinity as if it wanted to indicate the road to salvation and happiness for those who wanted to follow it. The moon was white, bright, much larger than usual, everything seemed to mock his anguish. All disgustingly magnificent, there, making fun of them.
A moan escaped Itachi's lips as he saw a figure standing on the cliff. Still.
Disheartened?
Shisui had already arrived, the presentiment was not good. He was facing the precipice, Itachi approached silently and lightly behind him.
"I'm sorry, Itachi."
Shisui's voice vibrated with desperation even though he was calm and gentle. The tone also seemed to want to console Itachi. The younger one felt a pang in his heart, he had a feeling of anger towards his legs because they had started to shake.
Shisui, my friend.
But outside he remained impassive.
The Major turned to him, the red of the Magekyo Sharingan glowing in his left eye. More red ran down his right cheek through his closed eyelid.
"Who did this to you?"
Fear, anger, anguish. Nothing transpired from Itachi's eyes and voice.
I'm sorry, Shisui, I love you.
“Danzo. According to him it would be useless to just stop your father, there will be a revolt anyway, by now it's too deeply rooted in people's hearts. He'll come back to take the other eye too, I'll give it to you before he does."
No! He stays with me, whatever happens we could always be together.
Itachi didn't move, his breathing didn't change.
“Finally, I'll let you kill me. Only in this way will you be able to have the same eyes that I have. I entrust everything in your hands, carry on our dream.”
No do not do it. In my dream, you are there.
Itachi took a silent step forward.
"Courage. I love you, Itachi. Ever since the first day we met. I told you I needed a new bond to get over my best friend, but that wasn't the whole truth."
Shisui smiled extending his right hand as if to invite his friend to proceed. Itachi grabbed his, barely touching his, Shisui smiled feeling the softness of his skin. The obsidian eyes steady and steady.
Why? I don't want to, I love you too from day one.
Itachi advanced towards him again. He swallowed a sob, was glad that the roar of the rushing waters of the Naka River had overcome him. He had always believed that, in order to become as strong as he wanted, he would not have to show his tears to anyone. Not even the emotions.
"So, good." Shisui grabbed both of his hands and guided them to his shoulders.
Smiling, he waited for his friend to decide to kill him.
One more step forced him to bend his elbows, it wasn't time yet.
“Thank you, Shisui, for what you and Sasuke did for my birthday, it was the best day of my life. I understood why it was so important to you, you waited until I was no longer a child."
The next step allowed their bodies to touch. Chests adhered, noses came to touch as each breathed in the other's breath. Itachi pierced that look in half with his. Shisui placed his hands on his hips.
“It was also the most beautiful day of my life, I have never lived hours so full of hopes and dreams.”
“Let love change things, Shisui, let's give it a chance.”
“No, you have to. You must have my own eyes to stop this madness. Only you can do it"
The major's hands clasped in a gesture of encouragement.
Itachi's eyes went blank suddenly, his knees gave out, his head collapsed on Shisui's left shoulder. The big one felt his heavy breathing on his neck, he fought not to pass out but by then it was too late. He picked him up with very little effort moving away from the precipice before he risked swallowing them both, only he had to be his prey, but by Itachi's hand.
All the emotions you tried to repress have exploded now, you were afraid of not being strong enough and not worthy of your dream. But I knew they were there, I've always seen them. You don't know it but your eyes scream everything you don't say.
Shisui sat on the ground taking Itachi on his lap, he was strong and would recover soon. He had to do what had to be done. The minor's hands spasmodically clung to Shisui's shirt coming close to tearing it. His face blank of his. His pupils, although not visible because they were black like the iris, Shisui was sure they were dilated. Itachi's reason wavered making him stammer incomprehensible words, his slender body shaking violently. Desperate and perhaps with his vision blurred by sickness, he clutched at Shisui's curly hair without realizing he was tearing it out by strands. The older one was very frightened, he had never seen him like this.
“Hey,” he said softly brushing his hair away from his face. His skin was cold and beaded with cold sweat.
Itachi turned sitting astride his legs, leaned on him until he was forced to lie on his back on the ground as he lay on top of him. His eyes were closed now.
“Don't do it, Shisui, don't force me. I will find another solution if you promise to survive. If you can no longer stop the uprising, I will, but you stay."
He kissed him tormented and with heavy breathing regardless of the blood that dripped down the cheek of the older one. The young man's anguished hands kept digging through Shisui's hair, hurting his skin. Itachi's tears mixed with the red liquid and it all ended up on both their lips. Though Itachi's weight pressed Shisui's sternum almost to the point of preventing him from breathing, he pressed it even tighter against his body.
I was sure you loved me. Who will welcome the cry of your eyes if I'm gone? You will be left alone in the world.
“Okay, I trust you. I know you will find a great solution, I will stay.”
Itachi stopped kissing him, even though he had recovered a little, the violent shaking of his body hadn't stopped. He opened his eyes, which until then had been closed, to look at him. Shisui jumped seeing that three-pointed star, so peculiar, a shape that would have belonged to him alone.
He had gotten it. The Mangekyo Sharingan.
"Where are we going, Shisui?" Sasuke's little hand eagerly tugged at his.
“We're almost there, it's a training to see how you do in fights in the dark.”
He had learned a few days ago how hard it was to hide emotions for someone's sake. Itachi had been doing this practically since he was born, he had never realized, until now, how much he must have suffered.
The first huge effort Shisui had to make when Sasuke asked him why he wore bandages on his right eye. He replied that he had hurt himself by minimizing with a wave of his hand.
This lie won't last long, but we'll explain it together, Itachi.
The second, and possibly bigger, was doing it now. Itachi had asked him to keep Sasuke away from the village with an excuse, while he found… the solution.
Sasuke hadn't even had time to start trotting happily again, when some chilling cries made him pin down. The pale, terrified face turned towards Shisui, trembled.
"What happen? We have to go back, Shisui, it seems that someone has attacked the village, Nii – san will be in danger.”
You're smart, Sasuke, you'll have a great future.
Shisui took him in his arms, squeezing him tightly: “Don't worry, he'll be fine. Do you remember when I told you at his birthday dinner that I'm much stronger than him? It wasn't the truth."
More screams, Sasuke squeezed his neck so hard it hurt.
“Look up there, Sasuke, do you see the Milky Way? It is said to lead to happiness whoever has the constancy to follow it, why don't we try?”
Sasuke's smile shone again, Shisui felt his sincere embrace as if it were a lethal noose.
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